


loving your dumb boyfriend

by WeabooCreature



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: 900 not so jokingly ranting abt his bf being a big ol dumdum, Fluff, M/M, but lovingly, everything else, hes actually very smart hes just a dumbass abt like, reader has a doctorate in engineering bc thats the first thing that i thought of, talkin n sittin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 16:57:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19299907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeabooCreature/pseuds/WeabooCreature
Summary: "he's just kinda dumb, y'know? like i love him but if i have to hear him tell me about the theory that 9/11 is called that because of how many people called 911 i think im gonna self destruct"





	loving your dumb boyfriend

“He's so fucking dumb, Gavin!” Conrad yelled, a small smile playing at his lips caused from pent up hysterics.

Gavin just nodded, taking a swig of his beer and motioned for his friend to continue. Conrad momentum wasn't dampened by the lack of reaction because, honestly, he didn't come here for Gavin's advice. He was here to rant about his insanely dumb boyfriend.

“He told me about this game he used to play when he was a teenager called Candyland and lost once then the next round he.. He cheated? Gavin, how on Earth would he cheat at a elementary level game yet loose anyways?” 

Gavin cackled and shrugged. “Did he like, move more spaces than he was supposed to or lie about what color card he drew?”

“Yes, how did you know?”

“Did the same shit. Anyways, continue.” 

Conrad sighed deeply. “He did both of those methods, refused to admit that he cheated, accused me of cheating, then flipped the board and had an hour long rant about how the game is ‘bullshit algorithms’ and took a five hour nap.” 

“Yeah that sounds like him alright. Anything else you wanted to bitch about?” Gavin stood up to get himself another drink, leaving Conrad to steam on his couch.

Conrad scoffed. “Plenty. Afterwards he told me about another game called Jenga.”

Another loud cackle came from the kitchen. “Oh fuck. Bet that didn't turn out well.” 

“Of course it didn't!” Conrad practically shouted. “Gavin Reed you said that he would be a good match for me and while I can unfortunately look past him cooking pasta in a microwave I cannot ignore him purposefully shaking the table then accuse me of doing it instead! He would wiggle the blocks only to put it back into place worse than before then take a block from places that are obviously a bad place!”

Gavin came back with a bottle of thirium for Conrad and a cheap store bought can of margarita. He handed the thirium to Conrad and got situated back onto the couch, a shit eating grin back on his face when he saw just how frustrated he was getting.

“I never said I was a good match maker,” Gavin weakly defended himself. “I'm a firm beloved in opposites attract and boy oh boy does it apply here.”

“We are far more than opposites.” Conrad deadpanned.

“Elaborate. That's too cryptic.”

“We are opposites but it seems as though he's from another dimension that fuels on chaos and disorder.” Conrad explains, sinking into the plush couch and pressed the glass against his lips but not taking a sip. He was far too upset to drink whatever new concoction Gavin had made for him.

“So he cheats at kid games and is a monster in the kitchen. Anything else?” Gavin was clearly taking pleasure in listening to Conrad talk about his mess of a boyfriend but he was too far along to stop now. 

His boyfriend really was a mess in every single way. Dumb was the best word to describe him. Yeah his boyfriend had a doctorate in the engineering field with years upon years of achievements and awards but that all went away the second he would rebuttal anything Conrad said as if they were in court and his lover was the amazing know it all lawyer even if the subject was the most mundane thing in existence.

Memories of him correcting Conrad's perfect grammar came to mind in the seemingly endless list of pet peeves that he didn't know he had until they met. Finger guns and winks are the newest addition to the list after he had let the other win at a game of Scrabble. Conrad nearly broke the letter pieces at the tenth finger gun when his lover thought he was getting away with cheating while keeping the score. Even thinking about it made his nostrils flare and shoulders stiffen. 

“He's continuously late to things. Like now for instance. He was supposed to be here five minutes ago and now he's late by thirty minutes. What could have been the reason?” He said, clearly exasperated.

Gavin shrugged as Conrad groaned once more. He wasn't sure what he expected from his friend. Great advice never really was Gavin's strong suit so now he had to deal with shrugs and snickers while he went on and on about his love life.

“Maybe he's in traffic.” Gavin suggested.

“Impossible. We live a few blocks away from here in a relatively traffic free zone.”

“Had to take a shit?”

“That's disgusting, Gavin.”

“Oh I'm sorry ‘Mister I Can't Poop’ but all humans are intimately familiar with their toilets. He's probably shitting right now as we speak and you're over here pissed about some of his cute flaws.”

“Please stop speaking about my boyfriends bowel movements!” Conrad couldn't fight back the laugh that bubbled up in his throat. 

Gavin shot him a lopsided grin and nodded, leaning back into the couch far too pleased with himself in getting Conrad to laugh.

“Yeah yeah yeah. Go off, you love sick puppy.” Gavin teased.

Conrad scoffed. Lovesick probably was the best word for him, now that he thinks about it.

They were good matches for each other no matter how often Conrad complains about him. His boyfriend is the most kind, loving, thoughtful, and sweetest person he has ever met and Conrad would never do anything to change him despite all his, admittedly, cute flaws. 

Conrad still hadn't gotten properly acclimated to regular society so his boyfriend was very helpful in that regard in making sure that he was comfortable with unknown territories. He was so patient and caring no matter how stubborn Conrad could be, always there for him whenever Conrad gets frustrated but will shoot back passive aggressive retorts. He's strong, the android thinks fondly, the strongest damn human on Earth.

“But I love him,” Conrad admits softly. “I love him with all my metaphorical heart and no matter how dumb he may be nothing will ever change that.”

Gavin had a knowing look in his eye as he nodded, a genuine smile creeping on his face before he took another swig of beer. “Knew we'd get to this point.”

“What do you mean?” Conrad ran a diagnostic to redirect the thirium from his cheeks to the rest of his body. 

“Y’know, you going from ‘my boyfriend is so fucking stupid’ to ‘my boyfriend is so fucking stupid and I love him so much’. That's usually how it always goes whenever you come and visit me.” Gavin explained, snickering slightly.

Conrad blinked. “...I do?”

“Yes!! Holy fuck man are you sure that you're the most advanced Cyberlife android prototype or whatever the fuck? Maybe you're both really fucking dumb and that's why you work together.” Gavin laughed loudly.

Before Conrad could say anything back there was a loud slam at the door and bags rustling. The two of them looked to the source of the rukus and weren't surprised in the slightest to find the man of the hour. Conrad couldn't fight back a grin.

“Do you need help, lover?” He called out, not moving a single muscle to help.

“Nah we Gucci over here just keep talking!” He yelled back, clearly struggling with the bags in hand as grumbling not to softly to himself.

Conrad laughed and eventually stood up. He took some of the bags from his boyfriend, saying a small hello and kissing his cheek, taking the bags to the kitchen before he broke them.

“You keep moving to apartments that are all the way at the top _and_ ones who's elevators are broken. Do you just hate me, Gav?” He exclaimed loudly, flopping onto the couch against his friend and stole his beer off the coffee table.

“Oh totally one hundred percent.” Gavin playfully pushed his shoulders.

Conrad gently pulled his boyfriend to sit closer to himself, keeping an arm wrapped around him looking much more relaxed compared to how wound up he was earlier.

“You boytoy over there was telling me what a dumbass you are.” Conrad choked on synthetic spit.

“He _what!_ ” He whipped his head to Conrad who laughed bashfully. “Babe!! I'm not dumb! I have a fucking doctorate in engineering and I actually put it to good use!! I am not dumb.”

“I meant dumb in terms of, you know, board games or making simple meals or other things of that nature.” Conrad tried explaining though it did little to appease his darling lover.

His boyfriend squinted his eyes and waved his hands around, lips caught being a smile and a scowl. So cute.

“Don't get your feathers riled up, he said he loved you like ten minutes later so your soon to be announced marriage is safe.” Gavin piped in, stealing bag his drink and stood up to get a fresh one. 

“Gavin!” Conrad wasn't able to hide his blush this time around.

“I'm helping you out man shut up.” 

“D’aw!! My baby blueberry boy is getting all blushy wushy from getting called out.” His boyfriend teased, squeezing at Conrad’s cheeks and planted small kisses.

Gavin let out an overly loud yawn mixed groan. “Alright you crazy kids. Let me go get dressed to not look like a druggie and we can get started on dinner. No fucking on my couch but if you do, there's condoms in nearly any drawer in the living room.”

Conrad groaned, hiding his face in his hands though peeked out when he felt a familiar weight pressed at his side. “Yes, lover?”

“Thinking about what kind of game we should play while we wait for dinner to get started.” He mumbled, seemingly in deep thought.

Conrad took a second to go through the types of games that Gavin had on hand at his apartment. “Gavin has Twister. It appears to be fun for us to play together.”

“Oh shit!” He shot up. “That would be so dope!l I can't wait until we do the thing where we see who falls the most and win.” He grinned brightly.

What. “What.” 

Conrad did a quick search for the rules. “Are you joking?”

“Of course not. That's how you're supposed to play or else why is the mat so slippery!”

He sighed deeply, bringing his boyfriend into his arms and kissed the top of his head. 

“Obviously. Whatever you say, lover.” Dumb and cute. There were worse combinations that he could have ended up with.


End file.
